


Masked by Hate

by chubbychoco



Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Rough Sex, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-03
Updated: 2012-11-03
Packaged: 2017-11-17 15:53:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/553275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chubbychoco/pseuds/chubbychoco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki’s punishment for his attack on Midgard has been decided - a hundred years of torture.  But that’s fine by him; he has his hate to fuel him, and as long as he can retain all that rage, he’ll come through well enough.  Of course, that’s assuming Thor, with his seemingly endless well of forgiveness, doesn’t ruin everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Masked by Hate

_The news had, admittedly, come as a bit of a shock. After all, Midgard was the site of the war; it seemed only fair that they would inflict his punishments. Stormy green eyes widened in shock. “You…you will not leave me to the mercy of the Midgardians?”_

_Bright blue ones, their energy dulled by misery, lowered to meet his. “No. They will kill you for what you have done. And though you lack instruction, you will always be my brother - I cannot abide your death.”_

_How typical of Thor. How weak, how foolish…how sentimental. Loki tilted his head back and laughed softly. “When will you ever learn? You may call me what you wish, but whatever familial ties once bound us are now broken. There is no love left between us.”_

_Thor’s jaw clenched tight, quivering slightly. Not with tears - no, never tears, not Thor. “That is not true. I still love you.” He turned his back, preparing for their journey home. “And though you have forgotten where you have hidden it, there is love in you yet.”_

_Loki’s lips curled in a smirk. “How often I forget just how much of a fool you truly are!”_

_Thor’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Hold your tongue, brother. I know what you mean to do, and I care not for how you speak.”_

_“If you can truly fathom my intentions, then I do not credit you enough for your intelligence.”_

_“Brother - “_

_Loki stood and leaned close to Thor, until he could feel the heat of the taller man’s breath on his face. “We. Are. Not. Brothers.”_

_He could see Thor’s body spasm as if he’d been hit. Despite being bound, Loki felt a surge of triumph. It was so easy to hit the blonde oaf where it hurt the most. One could barrage him with blows all day, and he’d laugh them off while draining a tankard of mead. But when he refuted their relationship…ah, yes. That was how to make him suffer. He’d be having fun with this all the way home -_

_\- well, that was the plan._

_Thor had crossed the room, and was drawing something from a distinctly Asgardian box. Odd, when had he brought that with him? It must have been when he first came down, but Loki had assumed that was when they were in that wretched metal flying thing. Apparently, that wasn’t true; he’d clearly made preparations. Loki’s own damnable curiosity prompted him to learn over to see what was within. A semicircle, silver and smooth, with what seemed to be…a bit? No, it couldn’t be. He wouldn’t dare. And yet Thor approached him, his face a rictus of emotional turmoil._

_“I had hoped not to do this to you, Loki…”_

Loki awoke with a start, his breath coming in a sharp gasp. His sudden motion caused pain to tear through his body, and a small growl escaped him. Perhaps his ‘family’ had not killed him, but they had certainly beaten him thoroughly enough that he felt the punishment was equally undesirable. He felt like he had after that damned, disgusting green beast had thrown him like a ragdoll.

He had been back in Asgard for nearly a month now, and he had barely seen hide or hair of his adoptive family. Lady Sif and the warriors three had stopped by and given him a cursory hello, apologizing for his inevitable punishment and admonishing him for his stupidity. Their presence had been nothing more than an annoyance, and he’d barely listened to their demands of ‘why?’

Odin All-Father had been next, and even Loki had to admit he had withered under the disapproving one-eyed gaze. That speech, he had listened to. Throat tight and tremors barely contained, he had taken in every disappointed word - how he would remain in this cell for the next century, cut off from his powers and the things he loved (if there were any left), left naked for the sake of humiliation, fated to be beaten daily so that perhaps he could be broken. Only once he was broken could they begin to repair him.

And so far, he had not seen Thor.

His thoughts were interrupted as someone rapped twice on the door, a sharp and annoying sound to a man with a pounding headache. He curled his lips in undisguised rage as the door opened to reveal a pair of automatons, similar to the Destroyers but far more benign in their purposes. These were nothing more than guards, but that meant that he was expected to leave his cell. Loki didn’t like that; there was a certain comfort to his cell. At least he knew what to expect in it.

“They cannot even lead me themselves? What, have they decided to put me to death, and none of them have the heart to watch my demise?” No response. Why would there be? The automatons were creatures of metal and magic - nothing more. They operated by the will of a master, incapable of thought of their own. Whoever was controlling them obviously did not wish to respond.

He stepped out of his room, the two metal men flanking him so close, they nearly touched him. They herded him decisively, blocking any wrong turn he attempted to take with freakish swiftness. When he had been the one controlling them, they were a blessing…but being driven along, forced to their whim, Loki realized just how frightening they could be. And these were the harmless ones.

It didn’t take long for the trickster to realize where they were going.

He froze in his tracks. “No!” he snapped, glaring at his escorts. Their heads rotated, as if they could peer at him with those smooth metal faces. “I will not see him!” He was worse than any of his other captors - stronger than an ox, but a bleeding heart and an idiot. So weak in spirit, determined to believe the best of everyone. No. Loki would not see Thor.

The creatures lurched towards him, seizing the shackles around his wrists. “No!” Loki demanded again. “I will return to my cell, even of my own will, but I will not see him!!” He struggled against the unbreakable grip, fighting until the metal cut into his wrists and made his flesh raw and red. “You cannot make me! I am to be cut off from - “

“ - the things you love. But if, in fact, you no longer love me, there should be no problem with this, brother.”

Loki froze. The door to Thor’s room had opened, and there stood the god of lightning. He wore only a pair of trousers, and he looked exhausted and weak, as if the past twenty-seven days had been as trying for him as it had for Loki.

The smaller man felt something inside him crumbling…as it always did when Thor looked at him like that. Then he steeled himself and allowed one of his trademark withering smiles to the surface. “What do you wish, _brother?_ ” The word dripped with disdain. “To take part in my punishment?”

Thor shook his head. “To offer you a reprieve of it, actually.” He dismissed the automatons with a flick of his hand, and gestured into his room. “Come.”

“No.”

Thor’s tired expression grew wounded. “Loki.”

Loki watched him for a moment before casting his eyes skyward and following Thor as asked. When the door was closed, Loki looked around. He had not been in Thor’s room for a long time. It hadn’t changed much. The walls were still oak-red, his bed a stone base piled with luxuriant furs, and his decorations a reflection of his lack of intelligence and inclination towards battle. Now, Thor stood beside his wash basin, dampening a rag. It took Loki a moment to figure out that Thor planned on cleaning his wounds.

“I need no assistance,” he spat.

“Your body is covered in - “

“Don’t bother,” Loki said harshly.

Thor approached and swabbed a bloodied patch of skin on his shoulder as if he had never heard him. Loki hissed at the sting of it, then relaxed as the salt and dirt embedded in his wounds slowly wore away, leaving them wet and clean. Eventually, he sighed, leaning into the comfort of the cloth.

He could hear Thor’s soft chuckle behind him. “There. Your stubbornness finally caves to sense.”

The soothing gestures didn’t stop Loki from firing off a cold, “As if you would know anything about that.”

Rather than the stress of an insult, the words resulted in another chuckle. “True enough.”

Loki fell silent, stewing in anger. He wished it weren’t so easy to long for Thor’s relief. The man had a way of making him feel as if everything would be well…and maybe in Thor’s mind, it would be. Despite Loki’s actions, he still loved him. Thor wished to heal him, and to see him home. Properly home - not a prisoner, but an Asgardian once more.

 _No,_ Loki savagely reprimanded himself. _His kindness is irrelevant!_

He was not supposed to be torn over this fool. Not Thor.

And yet he had been, on so many occasions.

Loki’s eyes flicked down to the wound he had inflicted on his brother. It was little more than a pale line now, but the flesh around it was still tight with what could only be pain. Loki didn’t realize he was reaching out, he didn’t realize his face was contorting into a frown, but he regained his senses when he felt the warm, firm press of Thor’s flesh under his fingers.

Thor froze and watched Loki’s hand. The silence between them grew until Thor asked softly, “Perhaps you should have used a bigger knife.” As he spoke, he removed the metal bands on Loki’s wrists, gently rubbing the rag over the reddened flesh.

“No,” Loki rasped. He could feel his brother’s shocked stiffening, and he quickly amended, “I simply should have stabbed deeper.”

Too late. The mistake was made, and despite the mockery, Thor was not a complete fool. “You regret your actions.” The cloth, now red-brown with blood and grimy sweat, dropped to the floor. Loki could feel those large hands place themselves gently on his shoulders. “Loki…why does this shame you?”

Loki drew hard on his reserves of rage, trying desperately to stay angry at Thor. It was so much easier. “You don’t understand. How could you? You have never suffered as I have,” he snarled, but he knew his words lacked the ice they usually held. “My anger is just! Living in your shadow, despised as king by those who were once my friends, replaced by _that woman_ \- “

“Replaced?”

Damn. That was mistake number two. “You would forsake your family for that sniveling Midgardian scientist.” Even he didn’t believe himself. He silently pleaded with the unseen forces that if Thor’s ignorance were never to cloud his perception again, it would still do so now. “And her friend, the one whose heart I controlled. The one who told you how to close the Tesseract’s gate.”

Thor’s eyes widened. “Loki…” The look on his face said it all. The least intelligent god in Asgard had somehow managed to see right through him, and Loki’s façade crumbled even as they stood apart.

No. No, Loki couldn’t stay, not if Thor was figuring it out. If Thor knew, he couldn’t keep lying to himself. It was so much easier to be angry with Thor. So much easier to hate him.

Anger and hate were so much easier than what he really felt.

“Loki, you cannot mean…” Thor seemed baffled. The fact that Loki could desire a man was not surprising - men and women alike had worn the brand of Loki’s affection, though the younger man tended not to brag of his conquests. But _him?_ Why him?

Fear crashed over Loki in a blinding wave. That was it. The last Asgardian left that still treasured him, and it was gone. Thor would never see him the same again. He would be banished once again to his cell, beaten, flayed, denied even the simplest pleasures. It would have been a greater peace to be ended back on Midgard.

Or so he thought until he felt the brutal crush of Thor’s lips over his.

Loki’s head swam. He could barely understand the situation at hand, he was still so busy trying to sort through his emotions. All he knew was that Thor kissed like a beast, and he tasted like mead and warmth. A mewl of pleasure escaped him unbidden, and he found himself wrapping his arms around Thor’s waist.

The kiss lasted too long, and yet not nearly long enough. Loki finally pulled back. His eyes were clouded with desire, and his breath spilled from him in short pants. He searched for something to say, but for the first time since they were children, Thor had rendered him speechless. Finally, he asked, “Why?”

Thor gazed at him desperately. “Will you come home, Loki? _All_ of you?”

It was not the right thing to say, not at all. Words quickly came rushing back. His expression darkened and he shoved Thor backwards, snarling. “You would utilize my desires simply to claim my sanity?!” he demanded angrily. “You do this out of…what? Obligation?!” He shook with fury as he turned his back on Thor. “And I thought _I_ had mastered insults.”

Loki did not shriek when Thor shoved him against the wall, though it was a near thing. One moment, his hand had been headed for the door, and the next, he was flying forward, crushed between the wooden wall and hard planes of hot skin and muscle. Thor was pressed against him, and for the first time, their mutual state of undress occurred to Loki - a single layer of cloth separated them. Desire pounded through him and pooled in his groin, but it actually threatened to white his vision when Thor growled into his ear, “You think I would give my body to a _man_ so willingly for such a cause? Who is insulting who here?”

Loki tried to squirm away, but was only greeted with more of Thor’s strength pinning him down. “You said - “

“If I am to bed you, Loki, I will not have half of you. I will not reach for you only to watch you slip away again.” Loki couldn’t see his face, but he could hear the pain in Thor’s voice. “It destroys me to watch it, and I have seen it too many times already.”

And just like that, words left Loki yet again. He didn’t know what to say. _Would_ he come back? Would he have the strength left in him? After all he had done to himself and others, could he salvage what good was left? He trembled as he tried to answer the question.

Hate was so easy.

So easy.

“I want to.”

Apparently, it was enough for Thor. He spun Loki around and kissed him again, tongue prying between thin lips to thoroughly explore his mouth. The trickster reciprocated the passion, returned it in spades, groaning into Thor and digging his nails into his shoulders.

It was evident that Thor cared more for the softer charms of a woman. Loki felt a spark of irritation when he realized the blonde was not yet aroused, and that perhaps it would take more notable ministrations to make him so. He slipped his hands under the waist of Thor’s pants, kneading the sharp peaks of his hipbones and dragging his fingertips lightly over the skin. Thor’s arms prickled with goosebumps, and he growled slightly, but Loki got nothing more for his actions. His hand trailed lower, teasing the tender flesh around Thor’s groin. A throaty purr of pleasure, but nothing more.

It soon dawned on Loki what needed to happen for Thor to become truly invested in the task at hand. Alphas did not appreciate being challenged, and Thor needed a way to channel his aggression. The solution was almost painfully obvious. He stood tall, leaning a bare inch away from Thor and letting the sneer creep back onto his face. Grabbing as much of Thor’s groin as he could fit in one hand, he forced his thoughts to take a back seat as he said in a low, husky voice, “ _Want_ me.” It was not a question or a request, it was a command. And it worked.

Thor hardened under his fingers. He lifted Loki and swung him towards the bed, throwing him back with commanding force. “Be patient,” he said gruffly, standing only long enough to shuck off his pants. “You are familiar with men. I, on the other hand…” He trailed off and looked at Loki, taking in the sight of the naked, dark haired man.

He was surprised to realize that seeing Loki like this - subdued, but pliant and needy - caused a stir of interest. Loki’s body was lithe and pale, his member flushed tight with blood. Loki quivered, and his face, for once, betrayed everything. So much confusion and torment swam beneath those storm-cloud eyes, Thor felt guilty to have never realized it. Then that taunting expression found its way back onto Loki’s face, and Thor threw himself on top of the smaller man, pushing between his legs with an insistence neither of them were expecting.

Their foreplay - if one could call it that - was fast and rough. Loki bit and scratched, which Thor had seen the evidence of in the past. However, before he had wondered what endeared people to such behavior. Now, he understood. The sharp pain, broken by spears of pleasure as one of Loki’s hands milked his erection, set his mind alive, then dulled all thought, then pulled it back from its state of sheer passion to remind him that Loki was _here, now,_ and if Thor didn’t respond in kind, the pleasure and pain both would stop. And respond he did, clutching Loki’s shoulders in strong hands and kissing his neck with sloppy passion.

Loki was sharply aware of Thor’s ever-growing desire, of the doubt that prevented him from penetrating him crumbling away. He had not taken the submissive position in a very long time, and as he remembered it, clumsy lovers tended to hurt. Before Thor could go much further, he pressed a hand against the strong abdomen that rubbed against his and said firmly, “You _will_ control yourself.”

Thor looked a bit dazed. “Is now the time?”

“I am not asking you.” But neither was he challenging Thor, and that was the brilliant compromise of it.

Five minutes more, and the blonde’s patience shattered. He steadied his member with one hand and braced himself against the bed with the other, then pushed in with one slow, steady thrust. Loki would have counted his blessings that Thor hadn’t gone too fast, but at the moment, the feeling of being filled was so overwhelming, and he couldn’t count much of anything.

Once Loki had adjusted the two of them began moving, and the sex was almost as rough as the part before it. Thor’s animal manners carried from his kiss to his behavior here, and his body moved forward and back with a brutality that had Loki keening in moments. The younger god was vaguely aware that he had clawed a raw crosshatch into Thor’s back, but he didn’t care. Every time Thor moved against him, a hoarse cry of desire escaped his throat and his vision swam. Thor groaned with need, picking up speed as he watched Loki’s expressions contort with pleasure. The man’s face was a thing of wonder, his eyelids fluttering and his pale skin now pink. And the noises he made…they drove Thor absolutely _mad._ He tilted his head down, resting his forehead against Loki’s shoulder just so those moans could drown out all other sounds.

Loki whined with a desperation that he had never felt with his lovers before. Thor was everywhere, doing all the right things despite his lack of experience. When his legs grew tired and he shifted his weight, he moved against a place inside him that sent such intense feelings through him, Loki’s body buckled and he came almost immediately, throwing his head back and howling his satisfaction. Thor’s hand dipped down to touch Loki’s sticky manhood, rubbing his palm over the tip and coaxing him back to stimulation before he could really take in the fact that he’d orgasmed.

He was somewhat aware of the fact that he was panting ‘yes’ over and over again in time with each of Thor’s motions inside him. Thor was touching his chest, leaving a thin trail of semen as he circled each tender pink swell of flesh. Loki arched into him as his hips shivered, tightening his body to draw Thor’s first release from him.

Their second times didn’t take long in comparison. Thor kept teasing him, anyplace he knew was sensitive, and teasing was definitely Loki’s weakness. He reached climax again, spilling his seed over their bellies and letting out a sharp cry, bucking his hips up to meet Thor’s. Thor’s hips crashed down with equal vigor. It took a mere three thrusts for him to come as well, sinking his teeth into the thin shoulder beneath him to stifle his groan of satisfaction.

Loki writhed at the heat that filled him, trying to slide away and catch his breath, but Thor pulled him close and gritted, “No. A bit more.” Ah, he wanted to ride out the aftershocks while still inside him. Loki could certainly relate. His senses gradually came back to him as he squirmed, milking Thor for everything he was worth. It had an obvious effect, and Loki stopped quickly, unwilling to see if his body could handle round three. Thor finally rolled to the side and collapsed beside Loki, gasping for breath.

Their breathing slowed. Silence coated them like a blanket. Loki quivered, the aftermath of their actions still tingling on his flesh. And as his clouded thoughts cleared, he reached for his anger. He groped desperately for his hate, _needing_ it back. It would come. He had indulged, he had taken what had fogged his focus for so long. Now he could resume his distaste for the lumbering blonde boor, and watch Thor crumble under regret and despair.

He clawed for it, raking through his mind for it.

And he couldn’t find it.

In its place was something alien and unwanted, a purring satisfaction at what they had done. Already, it whispered of a need for more, more touching, more biting, more grinding and crying out in desire. Loki’s stomach lurched uncomfortably. It wasn’t love. He knew love, despite feeling so coldly towards it. He had once loved Thor, when they were younger, and this was nothing like that.

But a deeper part of him knew it could _become_ love, and that, he did not want.

“Loki…” Thor panted, pulling him close.

“Don’t,” Loki said, perhaps a bit too quickly.

He could see the wounded expression on Thor’s face in his mind’s eye. “What? Are you still upset with me, even after I allowed myself to do this?” Loki could feel his brother’s frustration. “I do not think you appreciate the risk this truly was. Had I hated it, what would it have done to us?”

No, that was _not_ what Loki wanted to hear. _Tell me you hated it. Tell me you cannot be with men, that you need a woman to satisfy you. Please, tell me anything to make me angry at you again._ Because if Thor had hated it, if Thor had regretted it, it would have pushed them even further apart. And then, he could resume his mental lockdown.

He couldn’t hear what Thor had just said. He needed to be angry at someone.

Loki stood, with a hastily muttered, “No. But I need to be alone.”

And he did. Thor swiftly shackled him again, with a whispered request that he return once he felt better. Loki nodded numbly, and stood still while Thor cleaned his body of the evidence of their deed. He walked back to his cell as rapidly as the twinge in his back would let him.

He could feel the need to cry boiling behind his eyes. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening, damn it all. He needed to hate _right now._

Because if he didn’t, the guilt would settle in.

He collapsed back into his cell, wanting to be angry at Thor, and finding nothing. He couldn’t even be upset that he couldn’t get angry. He sat back and leaned oddly so that the pain of Thor’s initial breaching of his body stung him again, but all it did was send a thrill of desire through him.

An aggressor automaton - one of the ones intended to beat him - approached the door, and Loki felt a surge of disgust. _Finally._ A familiar feeling, something he could despise. He bent over the stone table in the center of his cell, knowing that if he didn’t, the machine would strike his head until he was dizzy and then force him over it anyway. A metal lash extended from the creature’s claw-like hand, and Loki could feel the first blow tear inches of skin from his back. He hissed, but did not scream. Screaming was beneath him…when he was in pain, anyway.

As his punishment continued and his blood dripped to the floor of the cell, Loki found that his fury came far more easily, yet he could not direct it at Thor. Odin, certainly - Odin had stolen him, then cast him to live in the shadow of his firstborn. Sif and her band of merry idiots, why not? Loki had desired the throne, and they had flouted his will without blinking.

But Thor, it seemed, had wormed his way in. Broken his defenses, despite Loki hating how simple-minded and good-natured he was. How? Could it really just be..?

“Damn,” he whispered as the whip ripped his leg open.

It was a good thing he was in here for a century. It would take at least a century for him to finally come to terms with everything he had done and why he had done it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my tumblr, here: http://talesfrommidgard.tumblr.com/post/23023227646/masked-by-hate


End file.
